Would be too much to call it a career...

On Friday, January 16, I finally ended my job training as office clerk by passing my oral test in Stuttgart. It ended a journey I once begun in September 2006. Usually, every job training in Germany takes 3 years, but due to the possibility to shorten the training half a year if your marks in vocational school are good enough, I could finish off earlier.
Why office clerk? Why even doing this? Well, I didn’t have much of a choice. After I began to apply for work in 2004(while still visiting school), I didn’t have that much luck with job interviews. The first few years, I still got some interviews at good companies(local bank, a local medium-scale enterprise) and I never had a problem to solve their IQ- or skilltests. The problem was that I was being too honest about myself and my condition(I told them about my depressions).
Of course I wouldn’t make the same mistake nowadays, but I just don’t like the idea of lying to the people you’d have to work with for years…once I’d start that, I’d have to go all the way and lie for the rest of my (office) life…and what for? If they don’t want me for being honest, well, screw them!
Unfortunately, the job interview invitations became rarer and rarer…until September 2006, I had sent about 240 applications, with hardly any success(maybe 10 job interviews in 3 years). I couldn’t even get a part time job, so my confidence hit rock bottom.
Then, two days before the new application semester started, my mother told me about the possibility to start a job training, sponsored by the job agency. I’d undergo a job training to become an office clerk. Office clerk wasn’t really my first choice, but in my situation, I couldn’t be picky, so I agreed and took the offer. After two or three weeks during which we had to sit around in class rooms, doing easy calculations or writing easy essays, I had found a company that’d take me under their wings to give me some practical training.
My salary was a joke, 292€ a month(from which I had to use 90€ for my ticket for bus and trains to Stuttgart, where I still had to go, eventhough a vocational school excists nearby in Böblingen, 15km closer to my home), but at least I had something to do.
The problem was, the company where I had to work sucked! In the first weeks, I still had a good feeling, I got some chores to do each day and was working in two segments(those were two companies under one roof): Selling SIM-cards to medium-scaled enterprises and selling telemetric systems to private and business customers. I wasn’t really involved in the selling part, but I had to prepare presentations or offers for customers.
Then, they hired a new guy who got about 90% of my chores. Suddenly, I had practically nothing to do anymore, but they still got mad at me if I did nothing. When I asked for something to do, they were mad. So I started to pretend to be busy while I wasted the daily time of work, browsing the net. I was still a bit motivated and thought things would be better…but it just got worse. They were lying to my face, saying that there aren’t any problems and that I’d do good. By the end of December, IB, the company with whom I had signed my job training contract called me to their head office and they said that my company(the one in which I was working) complained about me and that I’d be one inch away from being fired. I was very surprised and it made me angry. Why didn’t they tell me about this when I asked them about my performance a week ago? I heard from IB that they’d think I’d go too soon(I left 2 or 3 minutes after 4pm, which was supposed to be the time office would close) and they said I’d be lazy.
So without that they’d tell me anything about their dislikes, regarding me, I went back there. I started to stay overtime. The other co-workers were surprised and they asked me what the hell I’d do here? I told them that I’m supposed to stay longer. So they told me to sit on a chair and I was staring at the wall for half an hour or so…there was nothing to do for me and neither I nor them could understand what for I should stay, but hey, what the heck…I thought they’d see that I’m trying…but no, a week later, we(a guy from IB and my two bosses and me) had a little talk. They told me that they waited until they have enough charges against me so it’d be clear that they are innocent and I’d be guilty. The guy from IB supported them about that and I felt totally betrayed. I told them that I’m not psychic and I can’t read their mind.
Anyhoo, it was the last day before I’d fly to Indonesia, for my holidays. In the end of October, I had asked them for 3 weeks off and they signed the request. I also sent a fax to IB and they didn’t complain either. So I thought everything’s ok(eventhough I’d miss 1 week of vocational school, but I thought they’d just reject the request if it wasn’t allowed).
When I came back, they were totally mad and fired me. They said I’d be an intriguer and that I was trying to fool them and other nice things. I felt fooled, because if they wouldn’t want me to go for 3 weeks, why didn’t they just reject my request for 3 weeks vacation? Anyhoo, it was the end of my relation with this company and I wasn’t too sad.
Problem was, now I was practically without any practical training. I had to go to IB again and they decided that I should work in a “Übungsfirma” (Übung means exercise or practice, Firma is company, there is no translation for this word).
I didn’t have much of a choice, unless I’d agree to end the job training. Since that wasn’t an option for me, I agreed. This gave me a rehab status, because now they put me together with people who had some problems. Some were disabled, others were just slow learners or former drug addicts…but most were plain stupid!
In a firm like that, you’ve to imagine the daily routine like this:
”Make a few hundred copies of this”
“Write a fictional CV”
“Write more fictional CV’s(and applications)”
“More copies”
“Order office supply”

Those things repeated themself…at least for some months. Later, I came in other departments, like accounting, but there was never really much to do. During most of the day, I was bored out of my mind. I started to stay at home and call in sick, because I didn’t find a good reason to go there anymore. I was just trying to hang in there and go for the abbriefiation of my training, so I concentrated on vocational school.
After the summer of 2007, my rehab status, which was still pending up until then was finally confirmed. I thought that’s good news, cos since I was older than 21 by then, I would have gotten a higher salary(about 350€ a month, plus 130€ for my train- and bus ticket. Still little though, if you keep in mind that a trainee in the free economy gets 500-800€ for the same training).
Sad thing was…they took my fathers income into the calculation and told me that my request for more salary was denied, moreover, they’d stop paying me ANYTHING(beside the 130 for the ticket). They said since my fathers income would be so high, he could pay me.
I felt really devestated…not only that my fathers income was below their critical limit(after considering his private medical insurance, payments to my mother, energy, payments to his mother each month, etc), but I simply thought that this isn’t fair!
I tried to fight against this with lawyers and with the job agency, but I had no success. My only choice was to either continue without any payment or to end my job training. Since I would have to find a whole new job training then and start all over again, I had no real choice. In Germany, if you’re already 21, you won’t find a new job training, they’ll say you’re “Too old” for that.
Well, that was 18 months ago…thanks god, they accepted my request to abbriefiate my job training, based on good results in vocational school. I passed the written test in November and now finally the oral test in January.
Yet, now there’s a new problem. Germany is among the countries, being in recession. In an range of 200km, there are not more than 10-20 offers for office clerks. Most of them require some years of working experience, which I don’t have. I already sent applications to those that I’d be qualified for, but haven’t heard anything yet, except some rejection letters I received.
Some people might be happy to be unemployed, happy to have a lot of free time. I always thought I’d be one of them, but I changed my mind about a year ago. It’s not fun to be unemployed if you have no money! And I lost almost 2 years in which other people made lots of it! So now my priority is to get into any kind of job to catch up financially!
All I got so far is this small part time job, delivering mail. I get 5 cents for each letter I deliver. After my first week, I delivered 225 letters in 5 days…that’s 11,25€ or about 164.000IDR. I guess even in Paraguay, I’d be a poor man with such an income:S…
But what can I do? On the bright side, I get some exercise each morning, walking my daily route and I get to see some nice houses of fancy rich people, living there. Oh yeah, and I get some structure and keep in training for real work to come along someday. The only option I’m looking at now, is that I might get the chance to assort the letters for the whole area every morning, so my income would be upgraded to 400€ a month(5.8juta IDR). Still less than the poverty limit in Germany…way less…but better, than not being paid, like during my training;)
At least I’m on my way now…and I’ve to see where it takes me…