Retro(Miss them nineties!)

I’m just listening to „Don’t let go(Love)“ by En Vogue…realizing, that this song is almost as old as my brother(he’s 14) and realizing, that I’m really starting to grow older and witness a change of perspective…
I could never really understand what a big fuss my parents made about “their” oldies...now I often catch myself, thinking of this or that movie, or this n that song as an oldie/classic...
Most of the tv shows I like are from the late 80’s- early 90’s, the best music is from the mid 90’s to the early years after the millenium...and what we have now is mostly plain commercial shit! None of these songs really tells a story, like those old songs do...
Take “Don’t let go(Love)” for instance...songs like this or Dru Hill’s “How deep is your love”, TLC’s “No scrubs/don’t go chasing waterfalls”, Jay Z’s “Sunshine/Can I get a ...”, TQ’s “Westside”...all those songs are from that wonderful time when I felt really in balance and happy. Everything seems to be different back then. Some of the videos are kinda shiney, with lots of fancy mansions and even more sun, others are darker, showing those wonderful cityskylines at night that I always loved so much and still love...they fulfill me with a deep yearning and even bigger wanderlust...plus, they remind me of a girl that’s always been so special to me, eventhough I’m not even sure now if she wasn’t just the biggest crush in my life...either way, she’s kinda like a symbol to me, I guess I compared many girls to her and her cool way and always admired her a lot for being who she is, while in the same time, I never dared to tell her about my feelings...I just didn’t want to lose what I had(her friendship) and in those magic moments when I sat in front of the tv with her, I could daydream and imagine how wonderful it would be to be with her...and eventhough that never happened, those videos and songs always made my imagination run buckwild...even now, it still has the same effect on me...this feeling is so great, it’s so much better than sex, love, money, drugs or whatever people could imagine...and Saskia is still like my dreamgirl, most likely because I idolized her and I never had to destroy that image/fantasy…hard for reality to life up to that…

Sadly enough, many of the stars from yesterday stopped shining, they have to live in the shadow of less talented bands or singers...at least I feel that way, may it be up to everyone to judge the amount of “art” you needed to be a member of bands like TLC or En Vogue...
It’s just that their music had something that I can’t find in todays music...maybe it’s really the memories of a better time that makes these songs n music so special to me...it’s like a time machine to me, taking me back to a time when I was a complete different person...and a time when I had all those dreams and hopes and I still believed in them and wasn’t disturbed by any unconveniant truth...
The biggest shame of all might be, that I could never find any other person who’d appreciate those kinda things the way I do...the girlfriends I had rather thought I’m mentally challenged when I closed my eyes to a sung, humming or singing it...maybe one of the reasons, why I feel more and more like I won’t be able to find someone in my life who’d really be compatible with me...

Sometimes I think that this deep romantic and true love for this music and those moments set the standards too high...but then again, is it wrong? This is what makes me happy, this is what I’d choose over almost everything in the world...well, not just almost, I’d choose it over EVERYTHING! My stand on girls might be beatific now, I probably see them more as some kind of accessoire to make a good moment perfect...but believe it or not, I somehow feel somewhat better since I’ve decided that I live for myself and that music, those moments and those rare memories n feelings could never be replaced by some half naked floozie.
Damn, I really wish it was 1995 all over again:(!Everything was so much better back then…