My personal descent into madness

I’ve been thinking about life a lot these past few days...I’ve been talking to a very good friend of mine about love and why people, who tend to think a lot, seem to have problems to feel love...isn’t love nothing but a big fraud? Something that keeps us going? Opium for the people?
Let’s be realistic and reasonable...if we see things as they are and if we keep in mind, that homo sapiens is a descendant of some primates, what makes us think that we(humans) are any better or different from natures other creatures, the animals? Aren’t we, after all, still being animals? And we’re just hiding behind that nice cover we call civilization?
We’re violating our own nature and we neglect it...we invented all those so called rules and benefits of the modern society, like relationships, marriage, etc...but let’s take a look back into nature again and compare, shall we?
As a human being, we’re eager to get married and found a family...so far, so good...but what’s got marriage to do with it? The male human is (by it’s nature) mainly interested to spread his semen(and there for his DNA=himself) and the female human is mainly interested in raising her offspring. There’s actually no more space for so called “love” or a “maritial life”. It’s rather balast than being really useful...while in the free nature, all sort of animals meet, reproduce and then, the male animals keeps roaming to find further females to impregnate while the female animals are trying to find the strongest and healthiest male animal to get strong kids, so the existance of their species is safe. “Love” or “marriage” would just get in the way of that, as there are all the unpleasant side effects like jealousy or feelings. And let’s face it, animals aren’t doing so bad with their way...while humans excist since only a few thousand years and it seems we’re already about to leave the stage again...
So therefore, isn’t love kinda delusional? We invented it, probably out of selfish reasons, to keep the best female or male “creatures” for ourself. But it doesn’t really make sense and it seems to be against our nature...or how else can we explain nowadays record-high divorce rate and the billion of couples, cheating on each other like there’d be no tomorrow...
So aren’t we actually just lying to ourself over and over again if we declare a life long relationship and love being “sacred” aims we should reach, like it’d be the holy grail or something?
Sure, we’d all love to be generous and admirable people like that, who’re just too good and nice to be tempted by all the temptations we’re surrounded with nowadays...but let’s face it, most of us are morally bankrupt or too greedy to be ready to live in a Utopia...and it’s been like that since the dawn of humanity. All those nice and very desirable aims are thrown over board, once the first temptation is crossing our way...
Unfortunately, many people aren’t aware of that...and that makes it even harder for people like me(or my friend) to live in a world like that. It might sound cocky or something, but we seem to be too witted to fall for those lies...maybe it’s a genetic malfunction? I don’t know, but I think there’s got to be a reason for that though...
I’m yearning for the days where I’ve still been able to lie to myself so damn well, because that’s one of the strongest powers a human has...to lie to himself...and maybe that’s why we tend to fall for the lies of others, because our life’s based on lies and we’re too easily willing to follow other lies, as long as they just seem to make sense or they’re wrapped up nicely...
It’s really giving me hives if I’ve to face all those other people around me all the time...you can say that I’m really sick of their damn happiness...I just can’t stand it anymore and they may curse me for that, but I really hate them for their false happiness and I’d love to punch them in the face, all of them...all those false smiles and all their carefree behaviour while they lead our world into the abyss...it’s a descent into madness!
So why can’t I be like them? Why can’t my friend be like them? Why do we have to be so painfully aware of the whole world around us, tumbling down? It’s not like we’ve asked for it or like it’s a pleasant thing...damn, it’s like watching how someone is going into your bedroom and kills you while you sleep, but you can’t do anything but to watch it...over and over again!
So excuse me, if I feel despise for my fellow brothers and sisters out there...excuse me, if I can’t follow the mass or if my thinking is always somehow alternative...excuse me, if I don’t give a damn about all your shallow , superficial problems, cos they aren’t important! You’re all being deceived by propaganda and you’re just too eager to believe it and follow it...and excuse me, if I’m not actually sorry, but I’m just telling you another lie, cos you’ll buy it anyway...and isn’t that sad?