Men and women(and genes)

You know how people say men are from Mars and women are from Venus? Now we’ve probably all heard about that and we’ve been thinking „They probably mean that men and women don’t speak the same language and hence won’t understand each other.“

Well, that’s probably what the saying means. But is it that simple? Are men and women really that different? Or are some men from Venus too, while some women are from Mars?

As for me, I’m feeling like I’m neither from Mars, nor from Venus. Maybe I’m from Uranus or Neptune or somewhere…because I can’t find myself 100% on either side.

I’m not emotional enough anymore to pass as a „women“, while I’m not rational enough to pass as a men. Then again, there are things I can see in me that would fit for both sides.

I can be a bit of a hunter and collector, while I can also nest. What exactly does that make me? A third species? Or isn’t it more likely that men and women aren’t that different actually?

Sure, there are physical differences. We’ve all had biology classes in school, so I guess I can spare you the details. I’m rather talking about the similarities or rather the blurry borders here.

There are men who can act in a female way, who can think like a woman(even not at all times maybe) and there are women who can act and think like men.

Then again, the majority of men and women seem to behave just the way the stereotypes say.

I know many women who are very emotional, PMSing, playing mindgames on guys(curiously enough, they don’t seem to play those on other girls, unless they’re Lesbians. Maybe it’s about „love“?), having ridiculously high expectations on others, while forgetting that they don’t really have that much to offer. Then again, that might be just an attempt to hide their own insecurities and self consciousness.

And there are men. They behave like neanderthals in tuxedos(or in some cases Bintang shirts or likewise), being all primal, competitive with each other and yet ridiculously easy to see through. I’ve heard many women complain that guys are such liars. But I never understood why girls can’t see a guys intention as easy as a guy can.

Let’s face it, when god handed out the skills of good lying, the guys must have taken a whizz…because guys are lousy liars! Either they’re too lazy, too stupid, both or they simply don’t care if they’re caught and hence don’t ever make up good stories(or they don’t make up stories at all in a very cocky attempt to just do what they want, probably thinking that they’re so great anyway that everything can be forgiven, even infidelity).

Having said that, I wonder…for guys, it’s quite easy to see if girls are wearing a mask of self confidence. Usually, girls try to be a little bit too exact when they form that mask. They look just a tad too confident as that they could pass through with it.

As for guys, they seem to carry their intentions around with them, easily visable, as if they had them tattoed on their forehead or written on their shirt.

So one might wonder: Why can’t women see that too? Women can be, no doubt, very rational and are usually smart beings. How come their intelligence seems to’ve gone overboard if they meet an obvious jerk? Maybe not the super-duper-obvious kind, but at least the one that every other guy can smell 5 miles against the wind, blindfolded.

Is it because women WANT to be with that kind of guy? If yes, why?
One theory would be that deep inside, a woman thinks or hopes that she’s something like god. She thinks she can change any jerk into a nice, decent human being.

That’s quite preposterous…hell girl, it’s a MAN! How could one possibly turn a man into a somewhat decent being? At least through the eyes of a woman?

Plus, the second problem is: If it’s really true that women love a challenge and need one(which would explain why they go against their ratio and instincts), wouldn’t that be sort of a vicious circle? It would show that they have some kind of genetic defect, since they obviously pick damaged goods(the jerks) over the few decent male human beings. That means that even if they’d succeed and turn all jerks into decent human beings, they’d have only succeeded at failing, since they didn’t want them before, when they had a choice, so why should they want them now?
After all, the logic is missing here.

The more interesting theory might be, that some scientists say that women always try to find themself in any potential partner. It’s something very subconscious and I never saw any girl or woman admitting it, but there seems to be something to it, given a track record of experiences when it looked very true for me as the observing bystander.

Let’s give this some more thought: If women pick a person who’s just like them(except for the gender), that means that they should pick the person they think is best for them.

However, most women seem to have the urge to change their significant other and his „flaws“.

Girls, does it dawn on you? Obviously, you’re trying to fix yourself, yet you can’t or won’t admit that to yourself, so you find a nice male piece of clay to mould.

And it should show women that even though they say things like „I want a guy who’s a strong leader“, they shouldn’t be surprised why they end up fighting if they finally found one.
It’s as easy as 1,2,3, if you find a bossy version of yourself, why would you listen to that alter ego if you’re bossy yourself and you are already a leader?

But let’s not spare out men here. For some reason, even though men are from Mars and women from Venus, men seem to act like women about this particular thing.

Maybe a man doesn’t try as hard to change a women, but I reckon that that’s because men are already quite lazy to change themself, so it doesn’t really run contrary with their nature.

Also, just like women, a lot of men seem to hide their insecurity behind a wall of too much self confidence and a cocky attitude.
Most men don’t seem to be too good in picking a suitable life partner. Maybe it’s because through the generations, the role of the women seems to have changed, from inferior to superior to equal…but basically, are we that different from our primal nature?
That men hunt and women nest?

Biologically, it makes sense and explains that guys can not really be loyal. It’s just not in their nature. The male genes push a guy to find as many possible sex partners as possible. That’s not even the guy or his little friends fault, it’s the fault of the genes! They want to make sure that they get as many possible surogates as possible to make sure they(the genes) will survive, for generations to come.

As with women, it’s not that different. They might not cheat as much(or obvious) as guys(although honestly, it seems pretty even steven for me, I know a lot of girls who don’t take it that serious with loyalty), but they still try to find the best male to mix with their genes, also in order to survive for generations to come.
Curious enough, the „strongest“ and most competitive guys are usually not the loyal ones.
If you put your eggs all in one basket and the basket turns out to be on the losers side, you lose. If you put your eggs in many baskets, you increase your chances.

So it’s also just naturally for women to feel more attracted by a guy who has outsmarted and beaten his „lame“ loyal colleagues. How? Well, he was having as many sex partners as he could.

From an ethical point of view, that’s all quite despicable and sad. From a biological point of view, it makes perfect sense. Although…the major flaw here that makes this whole thing rather funny and ridiculous is the fact that 90% of the original genes of a human being are already eradicated in the 3rd or 4th generation. That means that the original gene(the one that pushes us to do all those nasty and silly and irrational things) is behaving just as irrational as we do as men and women.

In a nutshell, one might say about men and women whatever they want. We can write many books about how women can’t drive or park and guys can’t listen or hate shoe shopping, but that’s all just a giant smokescreen that keeps our eyes closed from the fact that we’re much more primal and primitive than we think. So many things happen subconsciously, probably even as I write this. Who knows, maybe it’s also my genes that inspirated me here;)