The O.S.T. of my heart

Memories...why do humans have memories?Are memories there to remind us?Or are they there to fix things?Are they there to torture or hurt us?Or are they there to make us smile and happy?Probably,it's different from person to person...in my case,many memories have a "soundtrack"...I think of certain moments when I hear certain songs.
Currently,I'm thinking about a lot of things...things that've been said today...and lately...
I am worried about me...and the others...who am I?What's happening to me?Why am I changing like that?I mean,I want to change...but like this?I am scared what I'm becoming...
And yet,it's only me who can change something about it,right?So why can't I do that?Am I that weak?Does my subconscience want something else?But what?Am I a shallow person,covering my face behind a mask of ideals and morals to which I can't keep up?
And again,the O.S.T. of my heart reminds me...reminds me of what has been,what I've been...gosh,it's not much more than a year ago....and yet so many things changed...
I wish I'd find a way out...I don't want to hurt me or others...
Now Ten2Five sings"plz don't say g'bye"...another bunch of memories crosses my mind...how I heard this song...on the 2nd best day of my life in July...hmm...the tears in her eyes...the tears...the feelings...the whole situation...damn,what happened?
Maybe this O.S.T. of my heart will be my anker...or I'll drown because of it...but it could be the key to all this...
answer requested...
HELP ME!